Some people will never change” is one of my site’s top search terms. Surprised? I agree. In fact, I thought it was some fluke until it kept showing up every day month after month.
I love watching the search term results because it gives me great ideas for what’s going on in people’s minds and what are people’s current concerns. Obviously, in this case, people are struggling with the idea (presumably) that sometimes or in some cases all the time other people (just) don’t change.
People are feeling let down, disappointed, frustrated and other various motivating emotions that are driving them to the web for answers.
People need others to change behaviour, attitude or even just their manner or tone sometimes. It’s all well and good to say “don’t allow yourself to be treated in a way other than a manner that is healthy and beneficial to you and the relationship.” However, reality has an annoying habit of creeping into these types of blanket statements.
There are countless relationships that we’ll have in our lifetime that we can’t just walk away from. These are the kind of relationships that we have to stick around for and try to make work. Perhaps because of family ties, commitments, promises, either to yourself or the other person, need, obligation, children, illness, the list goes on.
It’s not easy. Relationships are the hardest part of life. Yet, we can’t go through life without them.
There is a multitude of reasons why different people either, can’t, don’t, won’t, or keep messing up change.
Here are some points on why SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE:
- Fear of:
- The unknown. “But, what if then……”
- Discomfort: it’s uncomfortable and arduous making changes particularly for some people who have trouble with their self-esteem.
- Hard work: It’s also hard work, and it takes a lot of effort, perseverance, and time to make permanent changes.
- Commitment: “What if I change then things still don’t work out or such and such still leaves me?”
- Responsibility: It is far easier to stay stuck in your bad attitude or emotional place, blaming others a lot of time, than it is to take responsibility for who you are and want to be and go after it with everything you’ve got.
- Success: If someone succeeds in making a significant change there’s going to be a domino effect in themselves and their life. That possibility can be overwhelming to some people.
- Change (itself): a lot of people are terrified with the mere concept of anything “different” and change. There are many reasons behind this fear often including some broad issues. However, look at it this way. To make changes, especially within themselves, people need to have a solid understanding and acceptance of who they are, where they’re at, and where they want to go. Without those fundamentals, nothing is gong to change.