• Home
  • Blog
    • Life
      • How 2 Navigate Life
      • Psychology
    • Photography
    • Quotes
      • Original Quotes
    • Guest Authors
    • Blog~Social~Content
  • Disclosure Re Site Links
  • Privacy Policy

Mobile Menu

Categories

  • Menu
  • Skip to left header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Inspiration | Insights | Perspectives

  • Home
  • Blog
    • Life
      • How 2 Navigate Life
      • Psychology
    • Photography
    • Quotes
      • Original Quotes
    • Guest Authors
    • Blog~Social~Content
  • Disclosure Re Site Links
  • Privacy Policy
You are here: Home / How 2 Navigate Life / Red Flags, Toxic Relationships, And Self-Care

Red Flags, Toxic Relationships, And Self-Care

surprisinglives.net/red-flags-toxic-self-care-photo/

Healthy relationships don’t come with handbooks, and there are no courses or tests to make sure that everyone is fit.

Plus, sadly, many of us were brought up in dysfunctional environments and end up repeating negative patterns taught to us at a young age. Because of this we often pick the wrong people to share our lives with and end up in toxic relationships.

But we can learn from past mistakes and move forward to have healthier emotional relationships.

This process starts with being aware of certain toxic traits in other people and staying away from those people. It also includes listening to ourselves and honouring our needs.

Here are some of the most critical self-preservation and self-care tips to remember in toxic relationships. These points are also essential for healthy relationships to thrive.

Self-care tips;

Know when “it’s their stuff.”
-Here is how to figure out if it’s their stuff. Imagine telling a few people the same story. Each person would probably react differently. Those different reactions are “their stuff.”
For example; tell four people, individually, that you’re wearing a new red dress to an event that both of you will be attending.
Three out of the four people would probably say something like, “How lovely; I’m sure you’ll look great.”
But the fourth person says, “How dare you wear red, you know it’s my favourite colour, are you trying to look better than me?” This last reaction shows a person who is taking something that is completely unrelated to them and making it about them. So, their reaction is “their stuff.”

Learn how to stop the worrying and ruminating.
-Try using this technique. When caught up in worrying, ruminating, or a bout of anxiety, ask yourself the following question(s).
“Is everything okay at this minute (or second)?” “Am I okay right this minute?” If you focus on how everything is fine, THAT MINUTE, and you’re okay, THAT MINUTE, your worrying and ruminating will decrease.

If you don’t want to know the answer, don’t ask the question.
-We often ask or say things out of habit, to be polite, or to just make conversation. But let’s say your friend is a notorious self-centred complainer. Then to help stop these interactions don’t ask them anything that could illicit their complaining.
Instead of routinely asking, “how was your day?” perhaps say something like, “today’s sunshine was much better than yesterday’s rain, wasn’t it?”
In turn, for self-preservation don’t engage in provoking subjects or situations with people who have a history of reacting poorly.

You don’t have to respond to everything.
-You don’t have to respond if you don’t want to or are uncomfortable. For example; comments either in person or online.
It will often take the wind out of someone who is trying to antagonize you or be derogatory in some way if you don’t respond.

Learn to leave it with them.
-In other words, don’t keep or hang on to what doesn’t belong to you. Other people’s shit is their shit, not yours.

“What one small thing can I do for myself today?”
-Make this your priority every day over everything else. It’s not selfish; it’s a healthy mentality.

Ask yourself, “why am I reacting/feeling like this?”
-Is this really your fault or not?

Say “thank you,” at the end of every day.
-Either say a few words of thanks and gratitude in prayer, in a journal or as a good night to someone.

Only apologize for what is your fault.
-Stop automatically saying you’re sorry if another person complains. Also, never say ‘you are sorry’ just to keep the peace or to be nice. It’s self-deprecating.
For example, if your partner comes home late without letting you know and then complains about the cold dinner. Don’t apologize; it isn’t your fault.

Walk away when you need to.
-This one is tough for many people. But walking away from things that are bad for you is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
Like refusing to continue an argument that is going in unproductive circles, disconnecting from people who affect you negatively, and staying away from places that are bad for you, are all things that promote your well being.
Think of it this way. Would you keep going to a restaurant which served food that always made you nauseous, or keep trying to use something that’s broken? No, of course not, you would stop doing those things, you would walk away. So try to practise this same standard in all areas of your life.

Learn about boundaries.
-Learning about proper boundaries and particularly knowing what you expect and need is essential. Also, don’t only expect but demand that other people honour your boundaries.

“Three times and you’re out,” can a good standard.
-This rule can be useful in situations where a person or circumstance will change. But mean it and never go past it.

In turn;

Sometimes, second chances are not deserved or appropriate.
-It’s your right to decide if and when you will give someone or something a second chance. Generally, things like murder don’t qualify.

Expect respect.
-No, demand it!

Toxic traits to always avoid:

Lying is never okay.
– Also, remember that “not telling” is a form of lying or deceit.

The “silent treatment” is a form of control.
-This type of behaviour is used to control, punish, or hurt others.

Manipulation is never okay.
-Be particularly alarmed if you feel manipulated but the person accuses you of being the one doing it.

Blaming and excuses don’t count.
-Beware of people who equate all of their problems or bad behaviour with excuses or by blaming or being judgmental towards someone or something else.

A horse thief is a horse thief.
-Meaning, if a drunk horse thief stops drinking, they’re still a horse thief. Just a sober horse thief.

Love doesn’t hurt.
-Caring and respect are the basis of love; it doesn’t hurt emotionally, mentally, or physically No excuses!

Thanks for sharing!

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)

Some other posts you might like

By Amanda Ricks

Amanda is a Blogger, Writer, Counsellor, Social Resource and Digital Marketing Specialist.
She loves to write, blog, help others, and spend time with her incredible daughters and adored cats. Read More…

Previous Post: «surprisinglives.net/once-upon-a-time/ Once Upon A Time…
Next Post: You Can’t Pick Your Family But You Can Love Them surprisinglives.net/cant-pick-family-but-love-them-photo/»

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. floridaborne

    March 9, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    Every bit of advice here is Excellent!

    • Amanda Ricks

      March 10, 2018 at 6:39 pm

      Thank you so much, I appreciate that you found the info so good. 🙂

  2. Trev Jones

    March 9, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    Excellent, Amanda. Truly, excellent. Thanks for this.

    • Amanda Ricks

      March 9, 2018 at 6:02 pm

      My pleasure. Thanks. ?

Primary Sidebar

Follow Us! See Our Links Below…

surprisinglives.net/follow-me-gif/

Join Over 14,000 People Who Subscribe to This Blog.

Enter your email address to receive our new posts by email. We send full posts so there's no need to click over to the site to read them!

Recent Posts: Surprising Lives

Luck has more to do with success than you think

Luck has more to do with success than you think

Love more

Love more

The truth about life by Kerri Grote

The truth about life by Kerri Grote

Today’s Top Posts

  • IQ, IQ Tests, Jobs By IQ, How Does It Matter?
    IQ, IQ Tests, Jobs By IQ, How Does It Matter?
  • Jobs by IQ
    Jobs by IQ
  • Sharbat Gula, The Afghan Girl: Where is she today?  The full updated story
    Sharbat Gula, The Afghan Girl: Where is she today? The full updated story

Featured posts

staying focused by surprisinglives.net

Staying focused on human-to-human interactions, featuring Bryan Kramer

how to dispense hope with Mark Schaefer

How to dispense hope featuring Mark Schaefer

shout out to women over forty image from surprisinglives.net

A shout out to women over forty!

death life and love image

Death, life, and love; a real life story

100 plus tips lessons for happiness

100 plus tips and life lessons for happiness!

thank you for lending me, you image quote

Thank you, for lending me, you (Quote)

how to succeed when it feels impossible lilach bullock

How to succeed when it feels impossible; featuring Lilach Bullock

Search blog

Follow Us On Twitter!

My Tweets

Join Our Surprising Lives Blog Community On Facebook.

Join Our Surprising Lives Blog Community On Facebook.

Site Footer

Connect with Surprising Lives on social media

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Tumblr
  • YouTube
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Meet Some Of Our Guest Authors
  • Would you like to be a Guest Blogger on Surprising Lives?
  • Recommended Resources And Tools
  • Copyright
  • Disclaimer

Copyright © 2023 Surprising Lives · All Rights Reserved · Theme by Amanda Ricks on The Genisis Framework

 

Loading Comments...