It’s a lovely, sunny morning. The clock is showing just after 8:30 a.m. which means it could be anytime around there or about. It doesn’t matter what time it is, either way, the time feels just right.
Both girls are still sleeping, and all the cats are being unusually quiet. The surrounding peace is almost palpable. I can sense the tenderness of tranquillity touching me. Where did this come from, I wonder to myself. It feels as if the walls around me have been holding in so much turmoil and stress. Where did it all go so that this beautiful reprieve might exist?
I can still see all of the confusion and questions in the distance waiting for attention. But here, right now, as if in a bubble I sit protected by this lovely relief and complete freeze in panic.
Did I take a necessary step? Perhaps I had an insight that I had been missing before. Something has shifted and let in some light. Thank goodness, the shadows and monsters were getting to be too much for even my complicated life journey.
Is seems odd that I have no recall of what might have shifted. In the past, I’ve always remembered how I learnt my lessons and been able to give up old doubts. Even more strangely I feel no need to keep searching for the how or why. I’m perfectly satisfied that something good has happened and to keep moving forward. I know the benefits will show themselves when it’s time for me to see.
It could be a simple tiny thing that will nevertheless produce splendid ripples that reach far and wide. I know well that anything is possible.
What suddenly comes to mind again is an incredible idea. “Love is not in the fixing but in the trying.” This idea has swirled around my mind, in and out of questions and past situations, testing its fit. I can’t say yet whether it’s found its place. To be at home in my head, it has to be completely in tune with everything else and part of the clan.
Admittedly, I desperately want to grab onto this idea and cry with gulping, horrific sobs of joy. It will mean that I can stop questioning myself because of other’s demands. But to be fair, I always test the theories I hear and let my intuition evaluate them properly. Once approved, then I can accept them, live them and spread them to help others.
Here’s to acceptance, living and sharing.
Authors note: I just wrote a post about how I had shared this idea of ‘Love is in the trying‘ and was so happy that it had helped a co-blogger friend of mine. Today, I found, this, my original post on this topic, stuck in my old draft folder. It seems appropriate that I re-publish it.
love is in the trying