Unfortunately, it’s impossible to be born into a family and society that is completely balanced and emotionally healthy. Within such a family, a person would be taught how to look after themselves in a productive and proficient way so that they could grow up into a perfectly happy healthy person.
However, the reality is far from perfect. Our families and society are intertwined with dysfunction and misunderstanding. These problems affect us and the way in which our personalities are formed and the type of people we become in different ways. Some of us seemingly adjust to minor issues while others learn to take on specific roles such as becoming caretakers. Finally, some people fail to thrive properly at all and end up growing up severely dysfunctional.
Essentially, we all need to make sure that we fulfil certain things for and within ourselves during our lifetimes to find self-satisfaction and happiness.
Bronnie Ware worked as a nurse for many years and wrote a book about what her patients consistently shared with her in regards to their life regrets. All of her patients shared five dominant areas as the keys that either caused happiness or regret in their lives. Her book rocked the world. Psychiatrists and Psychologists all went scrambling for their notebooks. Here finally were real testimonies as to what contributed to people’s happiness.
Here is a summary of the points that people felt were life’s top priorities:
- Don’t work too much. (Particularly at the expense of personal, family and friends needs.)
- Express your feelings openly and freely. (Don’t keep things bottled up or fail to communicate openly and honestly with others.)
- Allow yourself to pursue and be happy. (Always remember that this is YOUR life and to pursue what you want and need. Give yourself permission to be #1)
- Don’t lose touch with people who are meaningful. (Special people are important parts of who we are, so keep in touch and you won’t ever have regrets over losses of friendships or lost loves of all kinds.)
- Don’t put other people’s expectations of you above your values. ( this is a big one. Always stay true to yourself. Never become or take on roles that other people put on to you. Once again this is YOUR life.)
I can just imagine some of your heads nodding up and down as you read that list and realize that you’ve fallen victim to some of the points. But never fear because this is the cool part. It’s never too late.
Miss Surprisinglives (remember her?) was asked last week “What’s next?” The answer lays in the above life satisfaction guidelines. I bet most of you ( I’m guilty too!) haven’t been keeping an eye open to make sure that you’re achieving those goals.
So here’s the answer for the person who asked the question:
I know you’ve spent a lot of your life being the caretaker. So, Sweetie, the answer to “what’s next?” is, “YOU” and “your time.”
Here is how to do it. Your life and happiness must be your top priority now, and you can achieve it by remembering these things:
- Accept yourself as you are inside and out. Accept everything that has happened in the past and everything that may happen in the future. There is no such thing as you and wrong, everything just is. There’s always a lesson and a reason.
- Let go and move forward. It doesn’t even matter where forward, just go. Also, by letting go of crap, you make room for great new things to come.
- Never again take on someone else’s role for you.
- From now on always let your intuition lead you in your life. Your true intuition is never wrong and will never misguide you.
- Last but best of all. Let out all that incredible beautiful “you” inside of you, out. Your creativity, gentleness, power, strength, wisdom, all of it. It’s all there it just needs to see the sunlight.
I hope that this post helps answer your question. Also, I hope that the post offers everyone else some interesting information.
References and suggested further reading:
Bonnie Ware’s Book: The Top Five Regrets Of Dying
3 Essential Steps To Living Your Own Life, Lisa Firestone PhD