It’s Monday evening, and the TV is on while I putter around doing miscellaneous things. Admittedly I like having the background sound on more than I appreciate what’s showing.
But, as I sat down for a minute, by luck (not), a dating site commercial came on.
Slick, beautiful faces fill the TV screen happily chirping about the kind of person that they’re looking for as a life mate.
“I’m looking for someone who loves dogs as much as I do.”
“I’m looking forward to meeting other professionals.”
“I’m looking for someone who is rich.” Okay, I’m kidding, this last one is fake. But it wouldn’t surprise me if I heard it.
I think most people would agree, at least publicly, that these adverts are horribly superficial and that dating sites won’t bring you real love or a lasting partnership.
In fact, Psychology Today reports that “according to research conducted at Michigan State University, relationships that start out online are 28% more likely to break down in their first year, than relationships where the couples first met face-to-face. And it gets worse. Couples who met online are nearly 3 times as likely to get divorced as couples that met face-to-face.”
When you compare those statistics with the data that reports over fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce, dating site’s success rates are appalling.
But the continued rise and popularity of dating sites and apps is undoubtedly due to our techy culture’s increasing desire for the easy button. Quick and easy solutions for everything.
But, as they say, you can’t rush love.
Which brings me to the point that came to mind when I saw the silly ad.
How many of us actually end up falling in love with and making a lifetime commitment to someone who fits the profile of who we thought we wanted in our life?
Is it really important when choosing a partner that they also love dogs, cats, or whatever, as much as you?
Do we actually end up choosing a partner who matches our idealized expectations, desires, and tastes?
For me, my husband was utterly different from my expectations. I never could have imagined loving and having a family with the type of man I ended up marrying.
But that wasn’t a bad thing. I was very happy for many years.
However, I’m not a good example. My marriage failed after almost thirty years. Perhaps our differences were why our marriage failed, but I don’t think that’s necessarily correct.
I think who we meet and fall in love with is often someone we would least expect.
The reason behind this circumstance is that we’re often attracted to people who possess traits that we wish we were stronger in and admire.
We often pair with people who have something we want to achieve, like a big family or higher education.
We want someone to balance and compliment us as opposed to matching us.
What are your thoughts?
I’d love to hear your opinion and experience on this topic. Feel free to share your ideas in the comment section.
Let’s continue the conversation.