Happy couples do things in their relationship in ways that are unique from unhappy couples. Of course, the question that immediately comes to mind is, do they do these things because they are happy or are they happier because they do these things?
Well, it’s probably a bit of both, to be honest, and that’s okay. Whatever works is my motto. I would be willing to start doing certain habits for the benefit of my relationship and in turn, I’d also be thrilled to receive the bonus of a happy relationship.
Psychologists have studied couples and their different habits for many years from just about every angle. At this point, they can make some pretty good judgement calls as to what works and what doesn’t for couples. With that in mind, let’s take a look at what happy couples do that works so well.
Top Scientific Relationship Tips:
- They go to bed at the same time. Happy couples resist the urge to go to bed at separate times even if it means that one of them gets up later to do some things. Remember when you were a new couple and how exciting it was to go to bed together at bedtime? Keep this habit going and your relationship will thank you for it.
- Happy couples cultivate similar interests. Yes, of course, they also have individual interests but they maintain some similar ones to take part in together to keep their bond cohesive. Also, as time goes on, happy couples always find new interests that they both can enjoy together.
- A mere habit, but happy couples always walk side by side and often hold hands. This habit is an automatic reinforcement of their commitment that they always use.
- They make trust and forgiveness their default mode. In other words, when they disagree or argue they always have in the back of their minds “how can we resolve this” and their thinking is centred around forgiveness and trust not blame or punishment.
- Happy couples keep focused more on what their partners do right than on what they do wrong. They also focus on their partner’s positive attributes and not their negative ones.
- Hugging your partner as soon as you both get home every day is a significant reinforcement of your relationship and a re-connection after a day apart.
- Saying “I love you” and “Have a good day” is also a loving way to send each other off to your day of work. It shows concern and caring.
- Doing a “check-in” during the day whether it be by phone or even text helps make your partner feel cared for even if it’s just brief. Also, it can give you a heads up if your partner is having a tough day.
- Last but not least, be proud to be seen with your partner and go out together. You don’t have to show off each other but by being together your saying “we’re a happy couple and proud to be together.” This public demonstration can mean the world to your partner.
The above tips may seem so obvious that you think they’re silly and that you don’t need to bother with that stuff. However, science has shown that couples who practice using these tips in their relationship are happier together.
I know of one couple that I really admire and look up to in regards to their love and commitment towards each other. Funnily enough, they practise almost all of the above points in their marriage of almost 40 years! That I think is testament enough.
Thanks to Psychology Today for help with this post.