One of the most popular posts that I have written was about relationship tips. So of course, being the diligent blogger that I am I took this information as a sign from you that this was a topic of interest and one that I should focus on more.
Today, therefore, I am going to share with you 14 of the top success tips for keeping your relationship happy and long-lasting. The following points that I am about to share are proven, well used and recommended. In turn, you will probably notice that a few of them are not the usual ones you see frequently which makes them all the more valuable.
14 Relationship Success Secrets:
1. Both partners need to feel equal in the relationship and in their joint life together. Both partners must feel respected equally by each other.
2. Both partners must feel that they contribute to 50% of the decision-making within the relationship.
3. A good thing is to learn to “agree to disagree” instead of having one partner “win” disagreements etc. Agreeing to disagree adds interest to a relationship and of course it means that no one partner tries to over-ride the other with their opinion. Both partners do need to be secure and mature in order for this to work.
4. Daily physical contact is key: Hello, goodbye and goodnight kisses, hugs, holding hands and walking together etc are all important habits to keep up in your relationship every day, including bad days!
5. Do stuff together even if it’s just going for a walk together to the grocery store to pick up a few things. Resist the temptation of just one of you jumping in the car and driving down to the store alone. Seize the simple moments.
6. Split at least a few chores between both of you, even if one partner stays home. This helps both partners feel as if they are part of their home’s upkeep and it also helps both partners work as a team. Examples could include; One partner packs the indoor garbage and the other partner takes it out to the curb for garbage day.
7. Either go to bed or get up at the same time every day. Some experts often suggest going to bed at the same time only. However in my experience and from my research either one works well for the relationship. The goal of this exercise is to have some quiet time together each day when you can just “be”. This state of just “being” together during a quiet relaxed time can do wonders for your connection.
8. Compliment each other often (preferably daily). The compliment can be anything from how your partner looks or how they make the perfect cup of coffee. Not only do these compliments help make your partner feel good but they also breed a positive atmosphere within the relationship, in general.
9. Share the money that each partner makes equally. For example, even if you keep separate bank accounts, don’t expect each partner to pay 50% of the rent. This could be an extremely high cost for a partner not making as much money as the other. A better way is to use percentages. For example, each partner should pay 30% of their earnings for housing, 20% for groceries, etc. This arrangement is important and easy to do.
10. Be equal in the small things. Even small things count because they build up over time and because they occur frequently. The small things I’m referring to are things like what foods you eat, the TV shows you watch, the colours you paint your walls etc. Either come up with compromises when you disagree in these areas or take turns. No one partner should end up getting their choice the majority of the time.
11. Never let a disagreement, fight, or ill feelings carry overnight into the next day. Do whatever is necessary to resolve the problem enough that it can be laid to rest for the time being. Agreeing to disagree is a good alternative if necessary. Just make sure that you both are able to get up the next day comfortable and happy with each other.
12. Don’t fight dirty. Yelling, swearing, and insulting each other is immature, unnecessary and really unproductive. Everyone just ends up feeling worse when these tactics are used. Also if you need to use these tactics it means you’re not properly dealing with your issues and perhaps your stress in a constructive and healthy way. (We need another post to discuss this issue more!)
13. Apologizing doesn’t mean you are wrong. You can always say you are sorry your partner feels hurt by something you said without actually taking back your opinion. What you’re doing is apologizing for how you said something that caused your partner pain, you’re not apologizing for having a specific opinion about something. Does that make sense, it is a concept some people have trouble with. Everyone has and is allowed to have their own opinions, however sometimes we need to be careful about how we express them. If we express them badly it is our obligation to apologize for our method of expression, but that’s it.
14. Ultimately we must always allow and accept that our partners don’t need to have the same opinions as us. We love people because of all the things that make them uniquely them, remember that during the rough spots too.
The above points are good basics for any relationship and I hope that they help you in yours, but, of course, there is so much more to a successful happy relationship. I would love to hear from you about what things help make your relationship work. Leave me a comment or send me an email with your ideas, I look forward to hearing from you.